Spinning: -

Ello peeps. Update on my school life - my Subject Combination Group (SCG) has officially split up into a grand total of 3 different SCGs. I expected it, considering that our old SCG was a mish-mash of weird combinations... and it was pretty huge for a SCG (35 people). There's a petition going round now urging the principal to reconsider combining back all the SCGs. Dunno what will happen in future *shrugs* but yeah, I'm waiting.

Today was the first day I started to wear the TJ uniform. Yea- I wasn't used to the idea of wearing that kinda skirt where you can't just sit anyhow. Must be prim and proper like an Office Lady... wa lao... that kind of feeling sucks, you know? You become more concious of whether you're showing anything you shouldn't. But whatever- guess I have to accept it anyway.

Enough about my school life lah. It's getting boring just talking about it. Squad outing- went for it like on... 2 Saturday ago. It was really long ago I know, but aiyah - better late then never. At first both Cheryl and I were quite pissed at the expected turnout - I mean, if you genuinely can't make it, fine. But I know that wasn't the reason for some people whose initials are CW. There's only one phrase to describe him - Zhong Se Qing You. I tell you, he's officially made it into my blacklist lah. And not many people have that honour, man. I was so nice as to message him about the outing details. Crime #1 - he said, 'What Outing' Crime #2: He was damn rude when talking to me Crime #3: He said, 'not many guys are going anyway' - I hate it when people do that. OF course not many guys are going -- YOU'RE A GUY YOURSELF... what happens if EVERYONE says that?! Crime #4: He cut me off and said 'bye.' TWICE when I hadn't finished telling him. Reminder to myself: Stop being so kind to people who are rude and show me no respect!

Yah, anyway.... the actual outing was fine lah. Some people turned up in the end - guess they knew what would happen if they didn't come *evil grin*. It was quite boring at times, but otherwise it was okay, mainly cos of the people there lah. We went bowling - at which only me and chen played. I dunno what the hell was wrong wif the girls, they refused to budge their butt. So in the end it was only me malu-ing away. I dropped the bowling ball before even throwing... damn. I'll not lay a finger on bowling for a while now. Went pool as well, and malu-ed ourselves there. Ruirui was as usual acting all pro hahhaah.. in the end... we actually went to play mafia in the open, underground space linking esplanade, suntec.. bla. Got interviewed by this group of NUS social work people - and haha - JS and Longyu went up to say some stuff... Dang.. should avoid that place for awhile... people who conduct interviews like to prowl around there. Ended the night with a dinner at Swensens - the most expensive we've ever been to yet. No, we don't really go to expensive places like NYDC/Cafe Cartel etc, cos we've got thrifty people in our squad. So yup -- it was an okay thing. Hope this continues for the rest of our live man - I mean - the squad outings...
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Spinning: Tanya Chua - My Colour TV Set

Mark my words - I am one lucky ass, as well as a blessed girl. Time and again I have been such a pessimist and yet God will never ever fail me. I've learnt my lesson. My peeps would be glad to know that in future, I think I'm going to be less pessimistic. And if you don't know me personally or well enough, it's not surprising that you're not shocked by what I've just said. It's almost a miracle to have me say that I'm going to be less pessimistic. Pessimism is in my nature - I can just imagine it flowing through my veins and arteries...

So what caused the turnaround? Basically, I got posted to TJC. That's not all. The cutoff for Arts stream this year was a partial 7, meaning that not all 7 pointers could stay... and yah being the suay one most of the time, I got 7. So I was praying and praying for myself to stay in TJ. Not that I have anything against MJ (my 2nd choice), it's just that TJ is nearer, and if I stay I wouldn't have to go through another torturous transition period. I'm not really a chameleon, you see. I'm telling you, this entire drama of 'O' Levels is ... unnecessary. I was so mad when MOE decided to abolish the prelims for the year after us. Why only now? Many people were crying foul. But whatever. What's done has been done. Honestly, I would be a happier person if I didn't have to wait for my results - be it posting results or 'O' Level results - every so often in the first 3 months. 'O' Level was just the start of the drama. And finally, finally, it ends here. I'm so glad. I hated being a part of the drama.

Anyway, it's ALL over, and, yeah. Guess without this whole hullabaloo I would have remained a faithless person. Every waiting period I prayed and prayed very hard. The first time round I was a faithless woman. The 2nd, a little more faith. The 3rd and final moment, I thrusted everything into God's hands. I guess that was the right move. I'm not preaching here, btw. It's just a personal account.

I don't like going through transition periods, though I understand it's very necessary. Let's see what Doctor Huh-you-got-13-what-happened has to say the next time I visit him (choy, the later the better. I wouldn't wanna see a doctor that often) He insisted I couldn't get into TJ the first time round. I bet he would have said the same for my 'O' Level results... but anyway, if he really asked me HOW on earth I managed to get in... (which is really rude, btw - it's implying if I pulled any strings or if I attempted to appeal) ... I'm going to retort that I kept faith... not just in my God but in MYSELF.
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To take my mind off the nonsensical load of crap that scriptwriters and producers of the TV industry constantly pile me with, and to escape from the cursed reality of TV producers being nothing but money guzzling monsters, I hopped over to Pee's blog and took her quiz. Results?




Your World (Part Two): Your social world [girls]


Your World (Part Three): How do you see your world [girls]


Okay. Not a very good gauge of who I really am. Not like I expected it. It's not Myer-Briggs personality test. BTW, I got ISFJ for that one. :) Which is very accurate.

Adios. Blog about my holiday NEXT time... when these scriptwriters finally wake up their idea.
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Man I'm so pissed. Stupid scriptwriters. Just when I thought I was going to watch it. Just when I thought for once scriptwriters would forget about killing off the original cast... and continue with the story for once. ITS JUST CAPITALIZING ON THE ESTABLISHED FAME OF THE TITLE OF THE SERIES! Thats what the producers love to do, don't they? Turn dramas and celebs into money making cash COWS. MILK IT FOR ALL I CARE. I'm not watching. Yet.

I'm blabbering nonsense. I'm talking about a Japanese drama. Which I loved so much. The 3rd series is out. And they killed off the 2nd series casts. Resurrected the lead of the 1st series. HOW VERY CONVENIENT. ... ok forget it. I'm just blinded with pissiness.
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Spinning: John Mayer - No Such Thing

Yeah, you read that right man... NO MORE PEARLS! Whoa you had no idea how stupid I sounded whooping for joy after I heard the news. PEARLS is actually a CCA point scoring system - and one that was extremely difficult to score in at that - so can you imagine how freaking happy I am when it was announced that it would be scrapped?! Boy am I glad I didn't take up another CCA just to fill up the points in the PEARLS scoring system. I remember I convinced myself it'd be virtually impossible to chalk up enough points for PEARLS unless I was a commitee member (which is tough to be lah) and yup, so I decided not to waste time on other CCAs. Thus I just joined one... turned out to be a v. v. good decision. I know of many people taking multiple CCAs and dying at the same time. Heh heh.

Anyway, I went for guitar today, and something ugly happened lah. There was a small spat between my guitar-mate (my batch) and a senior. Yup... it was just this situation whereby my guitar-mate couldn't stand it anymore and just voiced her opinion. Left us feeling quite shocked lah. We could feel that tension in the air... like a taut rubberband just waiting to snap. Guess we can expect more of these next time. -_-" Kind of spices up the whole guitar experience huh. Not like I want to see another such scenario. It's quite upsetting.

Don't have anything else to talk about lah. Brains are quite fried from all the planning of holiday activities...

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Spinning: John Mayer - Daughters

Yes, I don't like rude people. Someone spoilt my day today. This pathetic guy whom I suspect has severe inferiority complex, that is. Happened to be a senior. Let's just say there's bad blood between my squad and him. And he generalized that EVERYONE had something against him. I wasn't aware, so in an attempt to show some basic courtesy and respect, I waved and said 'hi' to him. What was his response? He looked at me, as if I was a stranger. Then he turned away. I see, I see. So that's what I get when I show him some basic respect. A child learns from his mistakes - when he gets a negative response to something that he has done wrong, he doesn't do it again. What more me? I'm no longer a child, so I think I'm going to stop showing him basic respect. I don't think he needs it - after all he rejected all forms of respect displayed by me. It's okay. Boon Ee told me, 'When someone slaps you, turn the other cheek.' I guess I'm going to have to heed her advice. But of course, I'm not as stupid as to get slapped again. I'll never, ever do this again.

I read the news - heard that some guy in Tampines killed his entire family, then commited suicide. Whenever I read articles about suicide, I get this really strange feeling. The other day, I read that a Korean actress committed suicide as well. That same feeling plagued me back then. It isn't a good feeling... it's this fleeting moment of despair. It's like... wasted! That kind of thing, you know? There was once when there were rumours floating around that somebody in school (a staff member) had committed suicide. At the moment I was really floored... I was really shocked 'cos I didn't know teachers would do these things. Yup I know that teachers are humans, but I thought they would be the last people to end their own lives! After all they're supposed to educate students... In the end, it turned out that suicide wasn't the way she ended her life... she was just severely ill. I know I sound like an emotional freak here, but honestly, anyone around you could be capable of ending their own lives if they have that negative mentality... and what if it's someone you know, someone whom you care for? (touch wood. but i'm trying to make a point here.) I just think it's foolish to end your own life... that's all I'm trying to say.

Enough about melancholy stuff... You know what? I hate JC life. Hey, that's another melancholy issue. Anyway. I just wanna get out of this damned place SOON. There are good and bad sides to JC life... but I just can't bring myself to be happy, you know? Happy like in secondary school. Yah I JUST WANNA COMPLETE MY As and get the crap out of that place... I'm not saying my JC is crap, I'm talking about JC life in general.... erghh!!! I reach home late, there's no time for my tutorials, and I KEEP FAILING ALL MY TESTS (despite having studied for it overnight)!

... Already in a holiday mood. And I went out to buy The Sims 2: University! Heh. Not completely satisfied with it, it was above average but not exactly excellent... kind of set my expectations for it too high I guess. I didn't do any work today. I just don't feel like moving my hand to do my work today.
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Spinning: The Smashing Pumpkins - 1979

I fixed the tagboard. I changed it, actually. Apparently, doodleboard doesn't offer free tagging services anymore. I'm going for a Romeo and Juliet play at the Waterfront (near the indoor stadium) ... or rather, as put by Amande, a 'Rodney and Jacintha' play. Inside joke lah. Anyway, it's a free standing kinda thing, which really means -- there are no freakin' seats!!! What a joke... But since I already paid $18++ for the tix, I might as well go.

Going to blog again tonight. Cya.
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Spinning: Suzanne Vega - Caramel

I haven't blogged for a long time. And yes, it's because I was in a rather pensive mood over these few days. You could probably guess why. Hint #1: 2 days ago I was a harried student waiting for my O Level results. Hint #2: I did okay, not impressive but yet not disastrous. 2 days ago I went through what you could call the 2nd event in your life which is liable to give you a heart attack. The receiving of the GCE 'O' Level results. The 1st event in your life that may give you a heart attack? The receiving of the PSLE results. The only difference is that at 12, you were much more innocent, and much more ignorant of the implications of your good/bad results. So you probably wouldn't care less if you did badly or did well, it would be your parents who would jump up and down, either in anger or excitement. At 17, you're much wiser and aware of what kind of crap shitty results would land you in. So you worry more. Why grow old? Don't ask me. I think it's fantastic to be young and innocent. Just too bad, we can't fight the forces of nature.

I took the path less trodden when I entered JC. I took the Arts path, which a lot, and I say that again - a lot - of people look down upon. I do not like people who look down upon Arts students. If it wasn't for the fact that typing fullstops in between the former statement and typing all of it in caps would make my blog look really stupid, I.WOULD.HAVE.DONE.SO! Here, the Arts stream academic requirements are lower. Besides that, Science stream students have more options when they go to University (i.e Arts students have the door to Science careers slammed in their face when they reach University). Granted, that would make the Science stream VERY attractive, BUT that does not give society an excuse to wag their finger at Arts students and say, 'You're a bunch of mediocre students'. They don't say it of course, some actually hint at that perception. But it's enough to develop a kind of inferiority in some Arts students. Maybe I have it; if I do, I'm not aware. One of my lecturers actually said that Arts students were less focused than Science students. Since young, kids are encouraged to 'go for the Science stream 'cos it's a more lucrative field and it makes you LOTS OF LOTS OF money.' I've even heard things like, 'Don't go for the Arts Stream!!! You'd be a fool to go there.' What am I, a present Arts student, supposed to think? So I made a mistake in secondary school, did badly for my Sec 2 exams, ended up in double science stream, at O levels I didn't do well enough to get into Science, but, AH, I realize I have a flair in the arts/humanities field. What I'm trying to say is: I don't like how the Arts stream is being perceived right now. I don't like stereotypical statements, nor do I like generalizations. Maybe it's because I myself am an Arts student. Whatever it is, I'm going to attempt to prove them wrong. Though I seriously suspect that one Arts student made good wouldn't convince them to change their age old perception of 'Science is better, Arts is just.. uhg.' I'm not saying Science is not good. I'm saying that the Arts stream deserves a little more respect.

I got a raw score of 11 at the O levels, and bonus points of 4. By many people's standards, my results were AVERAGE, or below average, if you will. Just ask my family doctor, who gave me that shocked look and whose mouth dropped wide open when he heard I'd gotten 13 for my prelims (bonus 4). Following which he cried, "What happened?!" How did I react? I just stared at him. I was too shocked to reply. I hadn't expected THAT kind of reaction from him. It was as if I had failed my prelims terribly, if you know what I mean. Just a little background info: His son is from RI and had gotten a raw score of 7 for his prelims. Admittedly, he is an extremely smart and hardworking boy. But that doesn't give the doctor an excuse to give SUCH A EXAGGERATING REACTION towards my score. Do you know how hurt I felt when he did that? It was as if he was treating me like a failure in life. Later on that hurt turned into anger. I was so furious, I shed a few tears when I exited the clinic. My sister was there as well. You know what was destroyed here? My pride. Yes, my pride. As stupid as it may sound. I promised that I would never come back to his clinic again unless I got a reasonable score of, say, 8. At least. Now my results are 11. But I've changed my mind. I'm going back there (the next time I ever get sick), and if he asks, I'll tell the truth. I find no point in hiding the truth from him. So what if it's a 'below average' score? At least I KNOW I have tried my best, and it's time to move on.
It's no point feeling hurt and angry over his reaction. It's time for some self-motivation. I want to prove him wrong. I know, it's wrong to be motivated by anger, and spite. But I feel the need to actually... shut him up eventually. And if I ever succeed in doing that, I'm telling him that results aren't everything.


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