Typed 3 days ago...
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It's the 2nd day of Chinese New Year, otherwise known as 初二. I'm now taking a breather in my brother's room, seeking solace away from prying eyes and nosey parkers. :D
For me, this year's CNY can be considered one of the most tiring - instead of sitting around at home waiting for others to visit, I played the role of visitor this time, going around with a bag of oranges and outstretched hands in anticipation of the Ang Paos (red packets). Yet, admidst all the fatigue, furore, and not to forget the additional tyre around my stomach thanks to all the Bak Gwa, Pineapple Tarts etc etc, I've woken up to the kind of conditions some of my relatives are living in. I wouldn't say these relatives are in absolute poverty - it's just that compared to an average Singaporean family, they're probably less well-off.
I've got 2 such relatives. 1 is my oldest aunt - I think she's around 80 plus by now, and you think 80 plus = senile dementia/parkinson's - but no, this 80 year old lady is more alert than any of us, and speaks a few phrases of English ("Good girl!" "Good boy!" Quite degreratory but we know she doesn't mean it!) despite being uneducated. She moves around without any aid of sort - and whenever she sees the younger generation - she would reach out, as if on cue, and pull us along to show us some relic belonging to the older generation, or just basically anything that she felt was interesting. I used to feel really nervous around her, partly because I couldn't speak a word of Cantonese- no, a sentence would be less exaggerating - to her. I could only understand snippets of what she was trying to express. More scary was the fact that she probably hadn't seen me as much as she'd seen my older siblings - and so at times appeared rather cold. But this was not the case - I'd soon find - as I took time to flip through the photos and appreciate whatever she shared with me, she began chattering excitedly, explaining each photo away. I stepped out of her house, feeling slightly less scared of her.
The other relative is my Dad's cousin. (Yeah, I did say I have a HUGE family.) For some reason or another, her daughters didn't want to live with her and rented a 1 room flat for her and her husband. (I'm not making any judgements on this - I am in no position to.) The moment I stepped into the flat, I was just appalled at the amount of change my Dad's cousin had gone through. She used to be a lively woman who was fluent in English. I couldn't see that spark in her anymore. Maybe it was because of age - but I just felt pity for her. Her apartment was rather bare - with a TV set, a sewing machine, and a keyboard to keep her and her husband company. To add on to this - she doesn't go out because it's inconvenient to. Whatever it is - it hit me square that my relatives are aging fast - so is my immediate family, and myself. Though I would say I'm growing up, not 'ageing'.
Apart from all that, there was of course, the usual family drama. With a family as huge and as diverse as mine, you've got to be prepared for all these kinds of crap, and, hopefully, turn a blind eye to such nonsense. Let's just say something really nasty happened - power play was involved. As usual it was the same few making trouble. My mother was furious this time, as was my sister.
Also, I did discuss what's CNY with Ivan. I used to think that CNY is really the same old thing every year - putting on a smile and paying others a visit. Only when you face those that you really cannot tolerate - the smile kinda becomes plastered on your face. But well, things have kinda changed this year. The latter part, though, remains true. I know, to forgive and to forget. I probably have forgiven, not forgotten. It's something I've yet to work on.
I've got a few other things to blog about - but this is just thought diarrhoea 'cos there's too much I want to say. I'll blog about my squad bbq next time - and possibly CNY carnival at a later date.
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