Someone once asked me what I meant when I said I feel like I don't belong to this era; and that I suspect that I would be more at home in earlier centuries or the industrial era. It was hard to explain the essence of what I meant to her, but I tried anyway. Of course I didn't launch into a full rhetoric about what I meant when I said that; even though I have one in my head.

I was reading an interview online recently, and the interviewee had responded, "I am an old soul. The world now consists of ... going to parties and talking about the weather. And I can't do that." And then I felt a strange pang of relatability. A little bit of relief because before, I had thought I was the only strange weird alien one who held that perspective on life as it is now.

So if I had a chance to explain it again to her, I'd summarize it two words. "Old Soul".

Perhaps this would explain my obsession with vintage paraphernalia (and sometimes clothes. heh.) My obsession with the life and times of people and personalities long gone (either from this world or from the public eye) but who had made history before. With Hepburn (both Audrey and Katherine), Marilyn Monroe, Elvis, The Beatles, The Bee Gees. Not only them, but we could go earlier than that. The Industrial Era, Pre and Post War Era, 20s, 30s, the Victorian Era, the Renaissance,... I could go on. Heck, I'm even interested in the Tang Dynasty and all the other dynasties that existed before. Heh.

Perhaps this attitude towards life is why I feel a displacement when studying in a business course. It's the same displacement I often speak of in my blog. I feel like an alien. I mean, in terms of perspective, outlook, etcetera, it's really difficult to find like minded people in this course. And already it is drilled into you (yes, in school), that it is all part of the game, part of your job as a businessperson to 'go to parties and talk about the weather' in an effort to expand your networks and, consequently, expand your influence in the corporate world. Of course they don't really mean talking about just the weather literally. They mean topics that have no real consequence or substance in your conversations. And I simply hate to do that. So sometimes, I feel like a walking contradiction in business school. It's not that I hate the subject. I think it's fine, and I actually like/love certain modules. But I find myself struggling sometimes to relate to the values and ideals this discipline stands for.

Oh, and the same friend reminded me that females of those eras were very different from females of this era, mainly because we now have the luxury of choice in what we want to make out of our life, whereas in the past females probably didn't have the same opportunities we have now. So she questioned if I still wanted to be in those eras. She had a point. I'm not sure if I could give up my opportunities in life. Actually, I'm pretty sure I can't. But then again, I probably wouldn't think so in the first place if I were born in those eras. So I'm greedy (sue me!), but I'd love to have the opportunities I have now as a female, but at the same time, I'd really prefer it if the world now didn't consist of going to parties and talking about the weather.

It's all wishful thinking though. And I can't do nuts about it at all. So I guess this old soul will have to try to find her way somehow, around the world. Bah. Rambling again.