A friend of mine I made on exchange posted some pictures on Facebook of his travels around the world. Being curious about where he went, I clicked and I saw his amazing photographs of all these beautiful places. I sort of wish I didn't do that (at least not now, because I have two darn mid terms to study for and I am nowhere near done), because I am now starting to reminisce again about exchange.

Not so much exchange as 'the best time of my life' so far, but exchange; for all that it stands for... in the spirit of adventure and sublime confidence. I'm pretty sure that this daring and youthful curiosity is not exclusive to the exchange experience. But perhaps it is exclusive to a stage of our lives where we are still young and carefree; I don't know for sure because well I'd like to think I'm STILL young and carefree... and I don't know yet what it is like to be traveling when I'm a working adult. But I can only guess, it'd probably be slightly different.

When I look back at all these photos - not just his, but also my own. I took so many. And every shot, I think; every subject and object I took pictures of, reveals parts of what I was thinking about the place at the time I took the shot. Now this is why I like to take photographs. I think sometimes people find it hard to fathom - why so many photographs for one place? Simply because every shot is a representation of a different thought or feeling one has of the place and its people. Well, I really don't know if that's true for everyone who takes photographs, but it sure is the case for myself. And, all these little memory fragments help me piece together and relive exchange again, even if somewhat vicariously...

I think I digressed a bit away from the main point. I was talking about the spirit of adventure, of youthful confidence. And I hope I somehow, never lose it even with age. It's that desire to find out the story behind every place, and the culture behind it. Real culture and real stories - not fake ones conjured up by tourism boards to make history and culture easier to digest. I think there's a time and place and space for that kind of holiday. The kind of holiday where you really just want to get away, and to pamper yourself and unwind. But traveling, I think, is different. When it comes to traveling, it's not about finding a top notch hotel, or about taking pictures to tell others you've 'been there and done that'. I think I'd only consider it fruitful if I've gained at least an impression of the country's culture (beyond what the country's tourism board wants you to know) and the people.

And what of the travel companions, you ask? On traveling alone, I've never done that, and I am open to doing that as well in future. But frankly, even when in a group (at least in the traveling group I was in during exchange), we all gave each other enough space to introspect and to think about what we'd seen. And of course, travel brings out so many different sides of your travel companions; it's an amazing way to accelerate knowing your friends inside and out.

Oh no. Now I still have 2 mid terms to tackle. Well done... Anyway, I leave us with a picture (my friend took it in Stockholm :))

The thrill, the rush, the fascination. The curiosity, and seemingly never-ending intrigue, mystique of it all. Strangers, bordering on friends. It was a furious game of tag.

It may seem like I'm just throwing adjectives for the sake of nothing. But seriously, that's how I felt and what I experienced last year.

This year, in comparison? The thrill, and the rush, gone. Intrigue and mystique replaced by comprehension and understanding, which border on assumptions. The growing awareness of normality. Friends, bordering on best friends. Best friends, bordering on partners. Stability and lukewarmness. Which, I guess, isn't necessarily a bad thing. Are you aware?

So tell me, where do I go from here?

A/N: Some people wonder where I find the time to post on my blog. This is my therapy. I love to read, and I love to write. And I find solace in doing so. And perhaps I express myself much better in written words than in spoken ones. Sometimes I struggle to find words when I try to express my feelings verbally to someone. But when I write, it seems to flow. I think there's some kinda blockage in the neural connections between my word bank and my aural communication functions.

But yes, stop guessing, this is who I am.

Spinning: Empire State of Mind - Alicia Keys

I was cleaning up my internet bookmarks when I came across the special folder I created for exchange; where I dumped all the useful sites I used on exchange into. And 1 year from exchange, I realize how cute some of them are.

Highlighted in red, the giggle-worthy ones are

I know, stop it already right? Haha. But I seek closure, and maybe these lyrics will put them frustrations to rest.

When traveling abroad in the continental style
It's my belief one must attempt to be discreet
And subsequently bear in mind your transient position
Allows you a perspective that's unique

And though you'll find your itinerary's a blessing and a curse
Your wanderlust won't let you settle down
And you'll wonder how you ever fathomed that you'd be content
To stay within the city limits of a small Midwestern town

Most vagabonds I knowed don't ever want to find the culprit
That remains the object of their long relentless quest
The obsession's in the chasing and of the apprehending
The pursuit you see and never the arrest

Without fear of contradiction "bon voyage" is always hollered
In conjunction with a handkerchief from shore
By a girl who drives a rambler and furthermore
Is overly concerned that she won't see him anymore

Planes and trains and boats and buses
Characteristically evoke a common attitude of blue
Unless you have a suitcase and a ticket and a passport
And the cargo that they're carrying is you

A foreign affair juxtaposed with a stateside
And domestically approved romantic fancy
Is mysteriously attractive due to circumstances knowing
It will only be parlayed into a memory

So more photos, picniked.

In Paris, France: Random beautifulness.

In Munich, Germany: Hauptbahnhof. Ritter sport ads were everywhere, and I particularly liked this one. Because the male model's hot. Haha! OK, that and I liked how the ad's colours matched its surroundings.

In Germany: On the way to Neuchswanstein; gnarly branches during winter.

In Germany: Still on the way to Neuchwanstein.

In Berlin, Germany: the only part of Berlin I got to see because of unfortunate visa issues; its train station.

In London, England: Office building - I forgot its name.

In Porto, Portugal: Lovely, lovely strawberries.

In Porto, Portugal: Getting lost.

In Cabo da Roca, Lisbon, Portugal: One of the most unforgettable sights, ever.

I feel really rather quite helpless now, staring at my remaining 3 chapters of Management Accounting and not really knowing how to finish them in a night. It may sound very little, but trust me, each chapter takes a looong time to finish.

My lifestyle now? A far cry from my exchange days. I know, I know, I really shouldn't be comparing it like that but woah, I'm just really tired out from all this shit school is throwing at me.

And here it's like once you have one hellish week of deadlines and projects and mid-term tests it just goes downhill. Never-ending until your final exams are FINALLY over. THEN you can heave a sigh of relief.

In January I remember sitting on the toilet bowl in my hostel bathroom on the 2nd day upon arrival in Sweden, and thinking to myself, "What the heck am I going to do for 6 months here?!" Oh gosh. I take that back.

Honestly though, after learning to smell the roses in Europe, my stress levels have dipped considerably after I returned to Singapore. I've learnt not to take things too hard, and to learn how to work hard, but also play hard.

God I miss traveling. I miss Sweden. I miss Europe. Sometimes I read my notes and my mind wanders off and suddenly I'm back in my hostel in my cosy little corner, looking out the hostel window at a certain vintage bicycle that was always parked there - had its own character even though it was old - and I never found out who the owner was. And I remember having really awesome breakfasts everyday, it was always so sumptuous even though we were pretty poor. It would be scrambled eggs, or pancakes, or french toast, or sunny side ups, or cornflakes, or ham and cheese and bread. Now it's just kinda grab and go; or worse - I don't even eat breakfast nowadays!

Tell me again. Why is it that university students studying in other countries don't have it as bad as us, but probably graduate with more valued degrees? Doesn't it say something about our education system? Sigh.

This week's a tough one...

Here's some random stuff I found lying around my computer archives. These are photos taken over the course of the past year (2009 onwards :)). Some were from exchange, some were just randomly taken.

Busy Street, Copenhagen, Denmark

Dandelions, Uppsala

Small Reef, Norwegian Fjords

Strawberries, Porto, Portugal

Clothesline, Porto, Portugal

Skater Boy, Lisbon, Portugal

Wild Child + Heartbreaker, Singapore (heh).

That's all for now :)

A wistful sigh; a nostalgic smile.

Merely fine rain, which looked a lot like light snow, billowing across the busy street outside my house.

It suddenly occured to me then - fine rain is just as beautiful, in its own way.

:)

I've been back for close to 3 weeks now, and I've spent the last few weeks mostly catching up with friends, unpacking, adjusting to life here, and what else? Chilling.

These 5 months in Europe/Sweden have been a sabbatical for myself; and its impact on me is far more profound than I could have ever expected. So much so I find it difficult to condense my thoughts into a single entry. So I guess I will put down what I think when the thoughts come to me, and not try to squeeze my sentiments on it into a singular entry.

Anyway, I was just thinking, I don't think I'll return to any European country for the next 3-5 years if I can help it, with the exception of Turkey, Morocco, Greece, or Croatia, because I missed out on them and I think they're really beautiful, judging from my friends' accounts. I'm pretty sick of seeing the same styles of architecture and so forth. Honestly, I appreciate the opportunities I've been given. To be able to even see all these things is a blessing in itself. But I guess it was a case of too much within too small a time frame. Maybe I was just overwhelmed.

So I guess my next 'conquest' would be the Asian countries lying around where I am now. You know what? I'm Asian, but I don't even know much about my own race. I probably know European history more than Asian history, and that fact irks me to no end. So, next up? Vietnam and Cambodia for sure. But till my pocket heals from the damage done to it by this exchange, I dare not initiate any plans.

Drifting in and out of frenzied episodes of studying and totally chillax periods of slacking. My final exam's this Saturday but I totally don't know what to study for. Ah, well.

Everybody's telling me I'm going home soon, and oh, yes I know that better than anyone else. I have a mental countdown clock installed somewhere in my brain, and it's ticking. Tick, tick. And everyone's telling me that it's high time I go back. And well, the rational side of me tells me yes, it's time to go, that these experiences are temporal (even though they will be etched eternally - discounting any dementia episodes when I'm old and saggy - nestled comfortably in the depths of my long term memory), but the sentimental side of me doesn't want to go, I know I will miss this place even though its been a short 5 month love affair. And yet another side of me tells me that I belong back home. My roti prata's waiting. So are my family, my friends and my three lovely dogs (whom I sincerely hope didn't conveniently forget me, I've had nightmares about that scenario).

I guess I know that my leaving this place is inevitable. And so I hope to end it off on a high note.

Anyway, enough of the old woman's rambling. I am going to post some of my favourite pictures here. I don't know if I'll actually succeed in posting one post for each country I've visited, but I'll probably have more time to spare once I'm back in Singapore!

My friends, this is Portugal. Lovely country of unexpected delights.