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date/time Tuesday, May 25, 2010,8:19 PM
Liberation! Finally. After hemming and hawing for 5 days I managed to get out of the mess I'd created for myself. And turned down a very sparkly interview opportunity too. I think people are thinking I'm mad.
But not if you really know me :) Bangalore, here I come!
Its crappy though, that it would add another week to the 3 weeks of being a lone ranger. Haha. But it's good I think. A good opportunity for us to remember who we were as individuals and to learn to cherish more :)
Spanish class gets better with every lesson. What with the senorita pollo sitting on my right, and senorita de bailar on my left (I'm not sure if the names are grammatically correct in Spanish), and loco gente all around, I never fall asleep in the class. (I used to, whilst learning French. Everyone was too damn quiet.)
We're lucky. Our Spanish teacher has gone beyond just spoon feeding us with vocabulary, grammar, and conjugation. The main element that keeps me awake is the high level of interactivity in the class. His questions always review what has been taught before, and he'll direct the questions to a specific person. That's why everybody's wide awake and keeping on their toes.
Then - my favourite - there's the speed dating part. Or so I call it. Because what he does is to split us into groups to make conversation, and then rotate the people, over and over again. Sometimes, before we even finish the conversation, he rotates. It's quick and an effective refresher for the Spanish language. Muy bien!
In other news, I have once again returned to the ranks of the unemployed! Yipee! It's languidness all over again as I wake up no earlier than 9, rot at home when I want to, hang out with friends when I want to, sleep when I want to, and do everything else I wanted to do in this long break - i.e. polish my guitar-playing, go on a mini photography expedition, read my incomplete books, and intensify the frequency of those driving lessons.
Wahoo! No more dealing with the office bitch (Yes, there was one.), and no more dealing with hoity toity people. For now at least - I know there's more to come next time, but I'll deal with it when it comes. That said, working there was generally an eye-opening experience. Now that I've gotten a taste of what both the private and government sector is like, I think I have an idea of where I want to start in future.
It was only recently that I started to consider the idea of happiness being a state of mind that we have some control over.
I don’t know if it’s true, but I do know that escapism sometimes works, maybe not to keep ourselves happy; just to keep ourselves from falling into a deep abyss of despair.
We don’t always get the chance to tell it to someone. Or sometimes, that’s just not possible. Unimaginable.
No matter. I choose to be happy, or I hope I can choose to. Though sometimes I know I lapse into shitty moods.
Well, there's always a time and space for PMS, okay?
_______________________________
In other news yet again, I think I have amazing colleagues. Something happened at the office today - nothing particularly life-threatening - but it was just something that would test the attitudes of my co-workers. The situation was like massive fodder for an exchange of finger-pointing to take place. But nope, that didn't happen. No one pointed any fingers. We actually worked together to climb out of the stinking cesspit we had gotten ourselves into.
A far cry from other offices.
Bravo.
And, adios amigos! I'm hoping my Spanish Vocabulary is going to expand beyond that after I finish the course. Or even after I start it :)
Ah finally! I've got the time to actually feature one of my current favourite songs. Presenting The Cardigan's "Erase/Rewind", courtesy of YouTube.
In other news, work has been nondescript really, I've been doing the same things, sitting in the same place, using the same computer - the list goes on. Hours-wise the last week has been pretty all right, but my supervisor warned me to be prepared for next week, which will be OT-hell all over again. Oh dear.
You don't want to hear more about that, I'm sure. But one thing I need to say: I'm grateful, for all the friends I've ever met in my lifetime. People often say the greatest friends will come from our school days. I don't know how Varsity will be like, but I do know that I have met and made friends with amazing people from secondary school and college. When I'm working full time in a permanent job, I may meet great people, but there's always the possibility of meeting shitty colleagues (happens a lot of times). I don't know about others, but I'm hanging on to these friends as long as I can.
Don't ask me what prompted this sudden ... (I want to say Eulogy, but people often interpret it as a kind of written tribute for the deceased, totally ignoring its other meaning)... outpouring of gratitude. It's quite embarrassing, but I had to say it.
Good night, everyone, and Happy Mother's Day to all the Mothers in this universe. Especially mine. My mother is one of a kind, as I declared to 2 of my friends today :) Oh and, I sort of signed up for Spanish classes with those 2 friends. My pocket is bleeding, but I'm sure it's going to be worthwhile!
Note to self: Never ever ever EVER say that any current job is great/cushy/lovely/amazing/wonderful again. I don't know why but it seems to be a jinx to my work situation. Somehow it manages to become bad, in one way or another.
Don't get me wrong, it's still quite all right; still has its positive aspects. But take this advice: Pray that you won't end up working under a workaholic boss. Because you'll be expected to be as much of a workaholic as he/she is. Mentally he/she will bellow "TAKE NO PRISONERS!!!!" And somehow her drones will receive the psychic transmission. Then the day starts. And probably won't end until late into the night. The past few days have been something like that - my new home is actually my office cubicle. My house is but a hotel. My friends urge me to "think of the money", but if I have to do this on a long term basis (in my case meaning until my contract expires) I don't know how to deal with it.
Weekdays have basically become an off-limits zone for enjoying myself or any form of a social life whatsoever. By the time I finish at night, it's too late to go for dinner, and I'm almost always too tired to do any partying. My apologies go out to Mab, whom I asked out first, but ended up having to cancel it 'cos my boss was fuming at something. Hurgh. Drone indeed.
But but but! I'm still all right (I think!) because of my side-splittingly humourous colleagues. My mentor/direct supervisor (not my boss) is a self-deprecating lady who always takes care of my welfare - and the best thing is that all of them are NOT the kinds who will make a mess and hotfoot it out of the office leaving me to 'kio sai' (clean up. clean shit, literally.) In fact, they always share the burden.
At times it is majorly voyeuristic, just sitting in a corner pretending to be meekly doing my own work, when in reality, I'm half the time observing the little politics that occur in the office. To be frank, it's not as politically charged as offices in the central area, but still there's bound to be some. Especially where hierarchy is involved.
This is going to sound quite insane, but as a small fry in the office who's just filling the position temporarily, I enjoy what little authority I wield. Yes, take heart fellas - as temps you still wield some sort of authority, you know. At the very least, most of the time (unless you're in sales and you need to hit a commission), your colleagues don't normally bitch about you because they don't really see you as competition. And in the face of office politics - for example, facing an elaborate corporate hierarchy - you don't get too intimidated. At least we're more carefree, and we don't have to dwell on what I think are the most annoying/unnecessary aspects of the working world.
That's why I've resolved to cherish my University years. University is going to be the last milestone before I actually face the ugly side of human nature, in its full blown glory.
I'm pooped and so I'll keep this short. Past few days have been mind-numbingly hectic. I was at my new office for over 15 hours each day!
Still, I prefer this job over my last. Rach is probably going to say I'm crazy, because the last job allowed me to go home ON THE DOT every day. But seriously, what's most important is really not the hours. In this place I always have something to do. That way, time flies by and before I know it, I'm home. My colleagues are pretty fun, though sometimes I can't really catch up with their really fluent Mandarin (sometimes I resort to using Hokkien/Cantonese). And the best part - I have a great supervisor who's willing to teach me anything I don't know. Though the last few days have been somewhat of a pressure cooker environment, my colleagues take some of the heat off by kidding around and not taking themselves too seriously (they take their work seriously, though.)
But one thing I'm pretty sure of - I'm staying off this field in future :)
Video's 'Remind Me' by Royskopp, a Norwegian Electronica group. Normally, I am not a fan of Electronica. (Pure Electronica at least, because Sophie Ellis Bextor's music is part electronica also.) Which begs the question - why did I place this video in my blog? I was drawn to it for a few reasons.
I think the diagrams-within-diagrams thing is interesting.
On vocals is Erlend Oye, one half of my current favourite, the Kings of Convenience. (The other half is Eirik Glambek Boe. Norwegians have such interesting names!) I know, I've missed out those funny little dots Scandinavian names tend to have. Now maybe I should change my name to one which has those little dots above.
It has always been a dream - with added emphasis on the word 'dream' - of mine to be an animator/illustrator of such graphics you see in the video. Wishful thinking, obviously. Because I suck at Physics, and I think you need to have some knowledge of Physics to animate.
It reminds me of my life. When I was still working, of course.
The last point brings me to another topic. I've reverted to becoming an unemployed slob with nothing to do except scout for videos on Youtube. I resigned after a month and a few weeks of working, mainly because I am going overseas on holiday for the few months ahead and no boss likes a temporary employee to be going off and enjoying herself when she's supposed to be replacing those who are doing the same thing. Completely defeats the point of getting a temporary employee, don't you think?
In any case, the job has taught me a lot. Above all, it has given me a glimpse of the working world, and frankly, I'd like to stay away from it as long as I can. It's only been a month but I've already encountered the rude, the bitchy, and the plain 'bo chap' ones. Disclaimer: not all are from my organization. In a way, it's good because I learn to protect myself, and not be a doormat for them to step all over. A bit of a rant ahead, so skip it if you wish.
Less vaguely, most of my friends would've heard about the 'lift incident' from me already. I was rushing for the lift one morning and rather impulsively, I'd used my hand to prevent the lift doors from closing. The lift door was heavier than I thought, and to my horror it was closing in on my hand instead of opening up. Inside the lift were around 4-5 people, all working in a particular bank in my building, and none moved to press the 'door open' button. I wish I'd captured their expressions on video then, because the look on their faces virtually screamed 'Slap Me!'. And through the narrowing gap of the doors I could see, and HEAR, a man laughing at me. And so finally, my colleague jabbed the button from outside the lift, and the doors opened.
Right there and then I had to thicken my hide and enter the lift. I was bristling, and I was so ready to tear someone apart right there and then. Perhaps the laughing man had been watching too much of 'Happy Tree Friends'. But I wasn't ready to be sympathetic with him that day. He was still laughing when I stood beside him. So I shot him a glare. Much to my disgust, he started muffling his laughter with bouts of forced coughing. Then a lady, standing nearest to the lift controls, made a comment somewhere along the lines of, "... SHOULD WAIT FOR THE NEXT LIFT!" I didn't know I could be this confrontational, but I sort of sized her up for the entire journey. Come to think of it, that was crass of me and I regret it. But it did make her shrink back literally.
I remember this incident with clarity because it's one of the worst cases showing the apparent lack of graciousness in this society. Is pressing that button so difficult?
When I signed on to work in the service industry, I still had a little hope in me left that what I had read a year ago in the Straits Times wasn't true. Quoting an article from The Straits Times in June 21 2006, "SINGAPORE was placed a dismal 30 out of 35 cities in a Reader's Digest courtesy test, showing it still has a long way to go - even after more than a quarter century of courtesy campaigns." Working for real in the service industry has just cemented that finding for me.
In a span of three weeks, I got told to "go to hell", "jump into the lake", and various other damnations you can think of. I perfectly accept these without complaints if I had, in some way, been rude or abrasive whilst serving these people. But as far as I can remember, I remembered my Ps and Qs, and didn't really make major mistakes. But the thing is, these very people who curse me are those who are disillusioned or pissed at the fact that they were not getting what they want (because they simply CANNOT get it and they are stubbornly insisting on it), and for some reason, cannot remain civil whilst talking to me. The first time round, I was shocked by the lack of civility of these people talking to me. Pretty shaken, I didn't know how to react at all. A few damnations later, I was getting number and number to these unfounded insults. Perhaps you can say it isn't anger we're talking about now; more like bitterness against the unreasonable.
Then there are those who speak condescendingly; speaking down instead of speaking to. Yeah, seriously? Is there a need for that? Sure, I'm plebian. I'm content at that. I'd rather be humbly plebian than hoity-toity patrician.
But I still continue to work in this position, because as frustrating as it can get at times, there are the rewarding moments. Get lucky, and you get an unbelievably understanding person whom everybody's clamouring to serve. All is not lost, because in these 3 weeks I have had people treating me as an equal, and making me feel that I have indeed helped them. That feeling is rewarding. And anyway, this job allows me to interact with people. So ugly (metaphorically) or not, I still have to put up with it if I want to learn something.
In any case, if people want GEMS, then I think it's only fair to reciprocate with appropriate behaviour. All that is required of us is to be civil and respectful to a fellow human being. Is it that hard to accomplish?
And I cannot believe I am saying this, but it's true. I miss school like heck. Minus the examinations and homework of course (but even that was more bearable!). School was a safe haven. The worst sort of trouble you can get into - provided you're not the sort who messes around too much, of course - was a sharp rebuke by a teacher, or meet the parents. Even then, it was a protected environment. When you screw up at work, you really screw up. There's no one to cover for you, no one to say, "It's all right, I'll take it from here."
Interesting, really. I just hope I'm thick skinned enough to hold out till I have learned as much as I ought to.
Job interview today! I won't really state the name of the organization at which I applied for a job; just in case there's some legal mambo jumbo I'm not aware of. It wasn't really much of an interview if you ask me; I could tell it was more like a formality before I joined the organization. So as of next Tuesday, I'm no longer an unemployed slob sitting around at home with nothing better to do than watch videos on Youtube. That said, there's actually nothing wrong with being an unemployed slob, as long as it's just temporary. I have a strange feeling I'm going to miss that freedom of sleeping late, waking late, just bumming around and watching TV whenever I feel like it.
Sigh. We can't have the best of both worlds, after all.
But I digress. Because where I work is at the CBD, I have been told to come to work dressed in appropriate office wear. And because I have never worked in my life, I don't own a single piece of appropriate work wear. Even the attire I wore to the interview was filched off my sister's wardrobe! And boy, do I feel strange wearing a long sleeved collar shirt with long black pants. I feel even stranger walking down the CBD in that! It's just downright bizarre, and too stiff (not literally!) for my taste.
I guess gaining experience and a tiny glimpse of the supposed 'real' world are my main priorities in this job, though more moolah is always welcome. Speaking of which, I've never really understood why the expression 'real world' exists. Is there an alternate reality I'm not aware of? Because it sure does imply that there is one. It's just one of those expressions I don't agree with. Moreover, it sounds so... exclusive. "Oh, you haven't seen the 'real' world yet." Yeah, ok, I do agree with that - till I'm older (and much wiser) I'll be pretty clueless about certain things (and even then I believe I'll not fully understand what life's all about) - but I'd much prefer to be told "You aren't mature enough to understand certain things", than be told that I've been living in some alternate reality all these 18 years.
